while talking with two little boys (both around 3 and super mischievous), one little dude stuck his finger in his nose, like they do.  i said, "oh don't stick your finger in your nose...please go wash your hands" and turned my attention back to the other guy so he could finish his story or whatever words were coming out of his mouth.  the nose kid took his finger out of his nose so my brain was forming words to praise his listening and remind him to wash hands.  i think that was why i was unable to react as he wiped his finger across my chest, stuck his finger back in his nose and wiped it on my shoulder.  my brain went from contemplating a praise phrase to screaming.  i looked at him with that sparkle in his eye (spite, the sparkle came from spite) and knew that there was not a thing in the world that i could do or say at that point.  part of me wanted to celebrate the impudent little jerk...his expression and actions were so little brother and actually pretty funny.  except for the, you know, bodily fluid smeared on my skin.